Sliding Through the Snow

Some days catch you off guard
Like sliding 150 feet through the snow
In slow motion
Yelling at the deaf

The beating of a heart
Gone
The flashes
Mere moments
Of an entire life span
Now vividly changing
Every moment
Roads taking hard lefts
Where maps
Formerly
Shown no deviation

Some days catch you off guard
Like sliding 3 months through the system
In slow motion
Listening to the gavel

Foreign tongues
Discussing distances
Intent
Disregard
Long robes
Grieving weeping
Unceased reflection
Even in the dead of night
As children sleep
Without the knowledge
Of those mere moments
That now haunt

Some days catch you off guard
Like breathing 40 years more
In slow motion
Still sliding through that snow

I Envy the Storms

I envy the storms
With their ability to rage
Without consequences
To get angry
Without guilt
And destroy
With no remorse

I envy its ability to crawl across the landscape
Raining down
Before moving on unheeded

No one questions its intentions
It acts without resentment
Lost in the moment
Created by volatile forces
In the upper atmosphere
And there is nothing to hold it back

Neither self-control nor breathing techniques
Or fear of ramifications
Quell its thirst for expression

You get to see it’s intensity build
Into a furious mess
Not with an unexpected explosion
Of heated cloudy emotions
It is contemplative
Blustery
Full of veiled threats

I am bound by the physiology of anger
And the fear of reprisal
I am left dealing with the clean up
The rebuilding of beaches and bridges destroyed
Friendships unshackled and set adrift

I envy the storms

 

Guilt

Guilt is something that has changed for me over the years
Used to encompass selfish hues
Fears directed at me
And through me

Guilt that would haunt my hours
Dig itself inside of me
Taunt me with my past

Over the years it has dripped away
Revealing a battleship of fortitude
A hulk of heavy metal
That refuses to settle

But the focus was adjusted
Targeting my obsessions
A laser beam aimed at those whom I resemble
Those who love me
And the ones that matter more than me

It manifests itself as a caring entity
That longs to keep others safe
Time not spent
Intentions that got bent
And feelings which I freely lent